Maurice & Bettie aka The Pancakes (extended)

“I’m going to go for the smoked salmon bagel, I think,” Maurice said smiling as he drummed his fingers on the laminate table top. Bettie’s cheeks flushed. He spoke those exact words every single time they came for Sunday brunch at Roni’s. And he’d have a filter coffee, an orange juice, finishing with a jam-filled doughnut.

When Donny, the owner’s grandson, came to take their order, Maurice reeled off his request, which Donny dutifully noted down on his pad, just as he did every Sunday.

“And you Mrs Abrahams, what will you be having?” Bettie looked up at the young man, his sparkly eyes, nose dotted with freckles. She bit her lip. Donny raised his eyebrows. The tempo of Maurice’s drumming fingers increased.

“Well,” she said slowly, deliberately, “I think I’ll try the pancakes—with maple syrup.” The drumming stopped. Maurice extended a claw across the table, pressed her hand. “No, no, don’t be silly. She’ll have her usual cream cheese bagel with cucumber sliced not-too-thick-not-too-thin.”

“No, dear. I’d like to try the pancakes today,” Bettie said, smiling stiffly.

Donny’s eyes darted from the woman to her husband. “Uh, should I come back in a minute? Give you folks a bit more time to decide?”

“Yes, son. That’d be best,” Maurice replied, in what Bettie called his teacher tone. Donny, who had indeed been one of Maurice’s history students just before he retired, nodded and walked back to the counter.

“Bettie, what’s got into you?”

“Into me? Oh, Maurice, don’t be such a stick-in-the-mud. I’ve been eating cream cheese bagels every Sunday for the last thirty-eight years. Can’t I try something different for a change?”

“I’m not trying anything different, am I?” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Do you see me going around ordering something new? No. Just same old smoked salmon bagel and coffee for me. Same as always.”

Bettie sighed, “But…”

“Come on. You’re not feeling yourself. Just stick with your usual and you’ll feel a whole lot better.”

“I feel fine, Maurice,” her eyes searched his face, “But, if it makes you happy…”

“That’s my girl,” said Maurice, patting her arm. He waved to Donny, who returned with pencil and pad in hand.

Later, Bettie glared, silent, through the car window at the leafy avenues. Then the cramps began. Maurice backed their three-door hatchback into the driveway. The one they had exchanged for the station wagon after Eddie and Monty had finally left for college. Maurice nursed it as if it were a vintage Alfa Romeo.

By the time Maurice found his front door key, a pool of saliva had gathered in Bettie’s mouth and she clamped her hand over her lips. She staggered into the downstairs washroom. The choice of paint hue for this tiny room, converted from a broom cupboard, had been the source of much contention, three years prior. Bettie had been keen on Wysteria; Maurice insisted on Coral. Maurice got his way.

Bettie didn’t notice the shade now as she stumbled between its pink walls. She lifted the lavatory lid with her free hand and retched into the ceramic bowl. A gush of sour, orange juice, half-chewed, doughy lumps of bagel, which caught in her throat and green slivers of undigested cucumber skin ejected from her clenching belly in foul, thick waves.

Her forehead beaded with sweat, she spat out the last stubborn chunks. She stood up, her knees weak and numb from the hard floor tiles, and reached for the flush. As the water rushed into the bowl, she glimpsed what looked like a perfect ring of gold shining amidst the swirling vomit. Yes a ring, with what looked like three pinprick diamonds, just like the ones on her wedding band.

“Upset stomach?” Maurice was waiting in the kitchen. “Oh dear,” he said, theatrically sympathetic. “Goodness. You don’t think the cream cheese was off? I’d have to make a complaint to Roni, of course. Why, he’d probably offer us a free month of Sunday brunches!” Bettie’s face blanched as her husband chuckled.

“Have a glass of water, honey,” he said, as he placed a full, chilled tumbler on the table.

Next morning, Maurice trotted into the kitchen. Bettie was always up before him. He found the glass, still full, weighing down a handwritten note. Bye Maurice. I’ve gone for pancakes.

An hour later, with his cornflakes dissolving in their half-fat milk, he sat drumming his fingers, awaiting the purr of the engine in the driveway. It never came.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s